| The Whirlpool |
| "It's a Twister! It's a Twister!" Those were the first words that rang loudly through my head! But this was no twister I have ever imagined. It was like a funnel and I was stuck in its gravity force being slammed against the extremities of its monstrous walls. |
| Spinning out of control within myself. Spinning out of control outside myself. All was topsy turvy. All was in a mix of confusion and disbelief. I begged to myself. "Oh won't this be a dream!" "Oh wont someone wake me up, if this is but a dream!" "Oh wont this just stop spinning!" "Oh please stop spinning!" "Oh Please!" "Oh Please!" "Oh Please!" "Stop spinning!" But . . . "Why am I not sick to my stomach from this whirling top motion?" "Why are these hands of mine being sucked down through this middle?" "Why am I not frightened out of my mind? Why am I more anode by my questioning with every revolution of this funnel?" No doubt, I want this damn thing to stop spinning and to stop distorting the only friend I have at this moment! The only sense of realism that's left to my mind! These hands of mine now pulling and reshaping right before my vision. For lack of a better word I will call it vision, for you see I'm not sure if I have eyes in my skull or not! Or even if I have a skull! Frankly, I haven't had the will or the mind to check! Well, I guess the mind goes along with the skull! No skull. No brains. No eyes, mouth, nose, legs, arms !!!???!!! etc. etc. etc. . . . Ha Ha Ha I must be mad in here, for there is no day and no night. There is no today. So there must be no tomorrow and no yesterday. All of history and a thoughts of making a sensible plan to rid me of this place has no meaning or purpose to this existence of self. What is use in fighting it? All is lost. All is lost! Woe is me, all is lost!!! All lays in the shadows of a man who once was! So . . . I let go of my squirming being of a self and rode the wave of this funnel, till I noticed that I was towards a smaller and smaller opening. Seeming to end in some blackness of a point. Was this my destination for this part of my journey, made to go into a black hole of despair with no return. Was this my personal Hell? Was this elaborate stage set just for my splendid but warped imagination from my id. Oh what monstrous tales that come from those dark caverns of the mind. What turmoil and grief spins my spiders web? Will this dream have a happy ending, down the end of this swirling tunnel? So I let myself go and away I went. Closing down my mind and shutting down the senses that where being funneled in this hole. Like the Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland or dear Dorothy with her twister to Oz. When my inner turmoil calmed down, I noticed many different sounds surrounding me, with each spin of 360 degrees. The sound of the whooshing wind, in this circular speed. To my surprise, their was fanciful sounds along side my terminal journey to no where's land. Down, down, down . . . or could it be up? LOL This is maddening! Here in myself, I have no sense of direction what so ever! Making heads or tails of any of this, leaves me flat and I think even bothered, as these dreams speed on! So letting you the reader in on some explanation as to what's happening from chapter to chapter, or dream to dream, isn't going to happen any time soon, in our story. So, just like me, I suggest you relax and just let yourself go with the flow. This way, we'll both find out some answers at the appropriate time and place. So . . . let's change the watchers color. You know you don't have a choice with that, because this is not a black and white book and this is the only power I do have. The only power I seem to possess from my perspective. So I will. And I did! As my essence speeds towards some new end. I feel more peaceful then I have ever felt in this place. There is no urgency to rid myself of this place at this moment? Even the questions demanded by myself have subsided. And now, the swirling is slowly and gently falling off to a quiet spin. My rotation in this place grows quicker only because the radius has lessened, with each tumble within this whirlpool. My cavern is dimming and darkening with my decent to this goal. Not my goal. But this dreams goal! What demon is orchestrating this horror show? What creature of the night bellows, at my heartstrings? And here I go again, questioning. Questioning. Questioning. And there is light. And where there is light, there is hope. But, forget all the questions. Forget all the turmoil, let's get out of this dismal place and go for the light. I've heard it say, "Out of the Dark and into the Blue." My dear God, let this be blue! And once again, my spin grows speedy and once again I felt that helpless tumbling feeling of watching myself fall down this funnel! And again, I leaned towards my mind of dismay and disappointment. Then it happened! I was out! |
| Chapter Three |