|Into The Fear
|Fear is something you can't talk about, unless
you've experienced it first hand. I've been down
that road a few times and believe you me, I wish
I'd never had.
I was mugged once. Had a razor taken to my
back. Didn't even know I was cut, till I got home
and asked my wife to check, because there was
something warm and sticky back there,
which immediately made me sick to my stomach.
When she checked, sure enough I was cut.
But when it happened, I was to petrified to notice.
3:34 AM. I know, cause I checked my clock.
Couldn't sleep anymore.
I woke up with a disturbing feeling, then I
remembered why. It was a dream I just had. An
Indian from a western town was being arrested
by some sheriff. He said to the sheriff, "I have no
He pulled out his knife and made a slit all around
his own head. Then, reached back and pealed
off his scalp, in an almost matter of fact way.
He looked at the sheriff and without a blink said,
"Pain is all in the mind!"
"You control it or it controls you."
|"Bluman." "I really hope you know where your going."
"This certainly doesn't look like somewhere I'd want to go."
"Let alone make a choice to go here."
"It sure looks allot safer to open that gate and make our way around that silly ass
"Clown!" "Clowns! Bluman no like clowns!"
"Bluman afraid of clowns! "Big time!"
"Clowns very, very bad!"
"Yeah, I know you said that before." "Clowns very, very bad."
I wasn't going to debate this with my good buddy, one second longer.
"OK Blue." "You don't mind me calling you Blue, do you?"
"No, no, no!" "You call me Bluman, not Blue!"
And we left it at that.
"OK Bluman can we get on with this now,
cause I have a terrible felling I'm gonna regret going this way." "Big time!"
"OK! OK! OK!" "Bluman take you through."
And his long twirling fingers on this blue, blue hands reached out in the gentlest of
ways and begged me to follow him and his blue coat of fir.
We made it past different monsters as we went. All giving way, so we could pass.
I almost felt we should tip our hats, with words of greetings,
"Good day." "And have a very fine day, too."
But these were monsters and not some one passing by,
on some cobble stoned street, in some quaint little town, while vacationing in
So the one horned, one eyed creature who was only about my size in height, almost
grinned as we clomp, clomp, clomped down each stair, towards our next dilemma in
For sure, that's what it looked like to me. Fire brewing up red, in every direction I
Going down to this place sounded more than shear madness. It was shear madness!
"Now I'll say this one more time before my toes are stuck in red ball of flames, I wouldn't
send the worst murderer into, on his very worst day of evil."
At that, Bluman pulled his twirly fingers from mine, turning his blue body 360 degrees.
"I'll tell you one more time." "Bluman take you the right way."
"You no trust Bluman. Then you go back and kiss the clown."
"You go back and choose the other door." "You go back and find what you find!"
And with that, I looked down at Bluman on the lower step, of this spiral staircase and
saw that his eyes saw mine full of fear. Bluman knew what was in my heart and in my
mind, so he reached out again with his tender twirly fingers and without hesitation,
I took his fingers in mine.
I then saw his blue foot melt into the fire that lay below and he continued without a
or a complaint. Now all that was left to see, was those twirly blue fingers wrapped with
confidence around my own and our hands together melting into the flames.
As my fingers seemed consumed by this fire, my body went so too, there was no pain
to be felt. Our Bluman had been right, this must have been our way. But I, on my
own, would never have made this choice. Left to my own devices, I'm sure that clown
would have been my choice, rather than to come this way, which seems to be a fiery
grave from Hell itself.
And just before my eyes slid beyond the view of our safe balcony above,
I noticed a gigantic smile of evil materialize in these flames.
It was a grin of pure evil, beaming back at us. Atop this red face were horns more
sinister and bold, than a charging bulls flight into a matadors red cape.
It was all in the fear, that this was about. Nothing I could do would change this place
or better it for my own mild mind and body to endure.
It was Fear. It was Fear! It was fear that drove me on.
And all the screaming in the world wasn't going to make this go away or wake me up, to
be in my nice soft comfy bed, beside the wife, I loved so much.
The instant my ears were devoured by these flames I heard a shrill cry from below.
It was my dearest friend, poor Bluman screaming at the top of his lungs!
"Bluman scared!" "Bluman very scared!" "Look! Look! Look!"
I immediately knew what all the fuss was about. My confident, most fearless fellow,
was spun out of his world of safety, by a group of clowns, each leering at us through
the mouth of that horrid demon I saw floating in the bed of flames, just moments ago.
They were popping in out of this morbid reality, pop and go, pop and go, like some jack
in a box of evils intent. Evil intent! And what else could this be. That's what this
whole tale of never ending saga's and displeasure are. More and more evil intent.
"Bluman scared!" "Bluman scared!" "Bluman very, very scared!"
"OK my friend, it's my turn to carry the ball." "Now lets get on with it."
"I want to make our way out of this place as quick as quick can be."
"There 's nothing I can do about that thing that stands before us,
but I'm not going back, because it took enough of me, just to muster up the courage
to get this far, without crapping my pants."
"No turning back." I said, "No turning back!"
"I'm not turning back for you or for some big old ugly image that stands before us, as we
And this time, with our rolls reversed, it was Bluman's twirly fingers that felt clammy in
And then he relaxed and held onto me firmly again and said, in a quivering voice of
"Yes. Yes, Yes." "Bluman very scared, but Bluman go, as he must."
And our steps finally hit bottom. Before us stood that face, that struck terror in our
The evil face, as if being projected on some gigantic screen, was directly ahead of us.
Over and over again its distorted features became more and more indistinct as we
went along. It seemed to be transforming into duplicate faces of itself, each with its
horrid opening of a mouth showing a different clown within it. And the clown would be
changing from face to face, one as evil and demonic as the next. And then, I noticed
Bluman's features become calm. For within the mouths of these demons, new shapes
came forth. His monsters of old, his friends, appeared in the openings of the demons
mouths, instead of continuing with those demented faces, of those gaudy colored
Now my Bluman calmed enough for us to forge ahead with our quest to . . . ?
"Now hear me my friend Blue." "Sorry . . . I meant Bluman." "Where is our quest?"
"Exactly where are we headed?" "Tell me, just where is it we are going?"
"Bluman show you." "Bluman show will show you." He said in his shrill voice,
"Bluman is good." "Bluman take you to another world of dreams and wonders."
And if by magic and a testament to our enduring strength, those images of evil faded
into the fiery ceiling above us and the ceiling gave way to what seemed to be an early
mornings sunrise. And I whispered to myself, no not whisper, but screamed in joy.
"Could this really be the end!"
Could this blue fury creature have taken me to an opening in this cavern of my weary
I dared not think it aloud. I dared not breath a word of my hope to my very best friend.
As the clouds lifted it gory reds and blacks, we saw what Blue knew was here all along.
Some 100 yards before us stood an opening of light shining from another chapter to be
I just knew it had to be my way home. Out of this place of terror and foreboding evils.
But Blue knew different.
"Finally." "Our journey has made some headway, out of this frustrating
hell hole of things that aren't there." "Blue what the heck are you talking about?"
"Blue?" "I don't know anybody named Blue."
"OK Bluman!" "Bluman! Bluman! Bluman!"
"Now tell me what your talking about." "Things that aren't there."
"Yes. Yes. Yes." "Bluman tells you what you ask."
"All of what you see is only in your mind and not even as real as your dreams appear to
Nothing can hurt you or kill you here, but everything can upset you and make you very,
very scared." "Bluman knows scare." "And Bluman knows where not to go."
"Most of the times.", he said in the quietest of voices.
"I see what your saying, Bluman." "But do you think I'll ever see home again?"
"I hope so my friend." " Bluman tries his best to take you home or to some place better."
And we walked as quickly as we could to the opening that grew larger as we went.
And Blue went on and I followed as he said,
"Come and see what you shall see," "Come and look upon The Maze!"
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